


Xmas time

by Criscpi



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:15:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28216068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criscpi/pseuds/Criscpi
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 15
Kudos: 25





	1. Hello.

It's almost Christmas. It's only a few days away now.  
The air already says it as the most wonderful time of the year approaches for a lot of people.  
But not for him.  
He doesn't have anyone to celebrate it with. He will be alone, as always.  
He'll be texting his friends that he'll see again for the end of the year party.  
A couple of packages will arrive with anonymous cards from his parents and he'll be left there, hoping that time will pass at lightning speed.

Each time the knot in his throat is stronger than his will, stronger than his hatred for Christmas.  
From now on every day the tears will come to visit him.  
He would like to be strong but the reality is that ever since he was a child he has wanted a traditional Christmas.  
With someone next to him who loves him.  
With someone who explain to him why this time of year is so magical.

Robbe keeps his eyes closed and when he opens them again he finds a sheet of paper on his lap.  
He opens it and there is his face, drawn by someone really good, a few days before. He is smiling.  
Underneath the watercolor drawing is a sentence:  
"I like to paint you, but I prefer to do it when you're smiling."

Robbe wipes away tears and smiles. Without thinking too much about it, for him that gesture is already a little magic.

He takes a page of his diary out of his bag and writes: "thank you, you have managed to give me a moment full of magic".

He leaves it on the bench and goes away. 

The next day, with his cup of hot coffee, Robbe returns to sit on his favorite bench and finds a note  
"Why were you crying? I've been watching you for  
a while, you don't seem like the type to be overcome by bad thoughts."

Robbe drinks his coffee and thinks about that strange relationship .  
He tears out another page  
"I'd like a special Christmas for once. But again this year it won't happen. That makes me sad."

The next day Robbe can't wait to get to the bench: he finds there a package,the paper drawn in watercolor with hundreds of snowflakes. Inside is a small fir tree to assemble and decorate. Inside, the  
person in question had created with paper and colors dozens of decorations to hang.  
A note said, "let's start with the basics and see how it goes."

Robbe comes home, plugs in a random Christmas playlist, and while he's listening, starts decorating the tree.  
The house immediately gets warmer.  
Then he gets some little lights and starts putting them all over the place.

Finally he takes a picture, prints it out, and there  
He writes:  
"Thanks to you, warmth has come to my house."

Then he goes out and buys a  
Cap and fingerless gloves , packs them up and takes them to the bench.  
"Because if you love to draw outside, you need to stay warm too."

By now it had become a ritual, and Robbe couldn't wait until he could get close to the bench so he could find something.  
It wasn't important what. What was important to him was that someone was thinking of him. 

Christmas was ten days away.  
One package of the two he was expecting had already arrived home.  
Robbe had placed it next to the small Christmas tree.  
That evening, he had decided to light a candle and read a book.

When he falls asleep, he dreams of meeting the person who is trying to make his Christmas sweeter... he doesn't see the face, he doesn't know his name....  
The note he finds the next day is almost a letter, written above her outline drawn with colored pencils:

"Thank you for the gift. It's always nice to know someone is thinking of you....  
especially during this time.  
Sorry if the drawing is not perfect, I tried to do it without having you as a model.  
I wanted to write a little more to try to become friends, but doing it on a piece of paper is not as easy as I thought. I'm going to go leave this paper on the bench now.  
I wonder what you will think of this letter.  
A dear greeting.  
S.”

"S... I don't know who you are but to make this Christmas warm the best thing would be to meet you."

Robbe doesn't think about it. He writes and sets it down there. He stays another half hour to finish the book and then goes home.  
And then the panic begins : had he been too hasty in his request?  
Robbe had no choice but to wait.  
And see what would happen.

Less than eight days until Christmas. The first tentative snowflakes are starting to fall.  
Robbe has been sitting on the  
Bench in the cold for at least 15 minutes. No note. No trail.  
He had been right. He had been stupidly too hasty.  
He had broken the magic.  
What a fool he had been

Then a hand offers him a glass with hot coffee.  
"Hello."  
He had been wrong. The magic hadn't started yet.


	2. The snow.

" hello"  
"I'm Sander, nice to meet you."  
Did he say Angel? Because Robbe can't remember ever seeing such a beautiful human being with such bright colors....

"Robbe" he barely manages to say his name.

"Do you like snow?"  
Robbe takes a sip of coffee and tries to come up with an answer  
"I've always watched the snow come down from my apartment window. So I can tell you for sure that the answer is, I have no idea.”  
“Then get ready because it's going to snow a lot tonight.”  
“How do you know?”  
“I'm an observer by passion and work: see those robins so close to us and people? That's it, that means a lot of snow is coming down tonight."

Robbe doesn't know why but the next question comes out of his mouth without his brain connecting. or vice versa.   
"And you will be here tomorrow despite the snow?"  
Sander smiles and Robbe feels his cheeks get hot.

"I'll be here tomorrow because there's snow. I don't think I've ever seen a more beautiful landscape than a snowy one. To paint it is more complicated but for the eyes it is something unique. Different every time.  
It feels like nature is telling you, "now that we've stopped for a moment, we can start again."

"Can we?"

"If nature does it, so can you and so can I."

Sander and the snow.

"You've convinced me; I'll be there tomorrow.   
I'll bring the coffee."  
"And I’ll bring a blanket. It will need warmth and you can if you want to see how complicated it is to paint snow."

They finish their coffee in silence. Watching the sunlight fade and the birds fly away in search of warmth. 

Robbe wakes up and the first thing he does is look out the window: everything is white, including the sky and the snow that continues to fall.   
Robbe doesn't wait for the afternoon and decides to go out early to try to understand why people like Sander love snow so much.   
When the flakes touch his blue jacket, Robbe realizes that they are beautiful, tiny crystals. 

Crystals that are short-lived when picked up  
by a warm hand.   
He still wonders why it never occurred to him to go down and experience what it's like to be under a winter storm.

When the afternoon comes he is ready to go to the bench with two glasses of hot coffee in his hands and a bag of chocolate croissants.

When he arrives in front of the bench the bench is practically nonexistent. 

"Now where do we sit?"  
Sander is behind him  
"I don't know. Any ideas before the coffee gets cold?"

"Yes if you trust me..."  
"I'll follow you."

They arrive after about ten minutes of walking at an old bus stop: old but still suitable for sitting indoors. 

"So how was your first experience with snow?"  
"Interesting: seeing the crystals for real...I must have looked like a kid."

"It's a good thing to look like a child..."

"It is, you're right. I like it, and I'm curious how you paint this spectacle."

Sander opened his briefcase, prepared a sheet of paper and some paints... then began outlining the contours to create the depth of the depressions; he dipped his brush in the colors and created shades identical to those the sun was producing on contact with the snow.

It was a spectacle to watch the way Sander could make the brush dance on the canvas but he was equally enraptured by the completely absorbed face of that beautiful boy. 

"May I disturb you?"  
Robbe asks him in an almost imperceptible way so as not to ruin the magical moment.   
When Sander turns smilingly toward  
him, Robbe is hit by a green wave: that boy's eyes should have been illegal.   
"Tell me... sorry, when I'm painting I get a little lost."

"No no it's perfectly fine...just...  
the coffee and... the croissants... Would you like a break?"

"Gladly, Robbe."

They eat.  
They talk. And Robbe starts to feel that  
Irrepressible urge to blow it all to hell is to try to kiss him.  
But no.  
It's all too good.   
Everything is perfect like this

"There's no more light Sander."  
"Do you want to go?"  
"No...I mean...I don't know...."  
"You're right, it's too dark to keep painting and the cold is starting to be too much for our blanket."

Hear it  
Saying our...

"How many days until Christmas? 6?”

"Is something wrong?"  
"What are you going to do for Christmas?"  
Sander arranges his briefcase and places it on his lap:

"I don't know. I'm supposed to go back to my parents but they're splitting up and I don't think I feel like being with someone who doesn't like themselves at all right now."

"I feel you. Already experienced years ago."

"I still have five days to decide . Shall we go?"

Sander offers him his hand.  
Sander's hand in Robbe's.

After so few days that hand is the one thing he wouldn't want to let go of that evening.  
They say goodbye and Robbe goes home with half a cup of iced coffee in his hands.  
He thinks about the idea of having left a message written on the glass.  
A number and a message:

"If it snows too much to go out, we could meet up on a video call."

Was Christmas really only six days away?  
Because it seemed to Robbe that he had already received enough presents.


	3. Sofia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGERS WARNING:  
> Death and illness are discussed.   
> I won't go into specifics but they are part of the story so beware!!!

“Robbe are you awake?  
I know it's night but if You were awake...."

Robbe sees his cell phone light up: it takes him a few minutes to realize it's a text message, then he picks up the phone crinkling his eyes again

"I'm awake... " he answers

"Sorry I'm Sander, if you want I'd like to show you something...do you want to go out?"  
When Robbe reads the name the sleep immediately disappears. 

"Give me five minutes."

He had never prepared so quickly.  
Minus four days until Christmas. Maybe.  
And even for today, Sander was there. He hadn't disappeared.

Sander was under his house  
"Hi."  
He says to him  
"Hi...but...how did you know where I lived?"

"Forgive me but I followed you the other night because I was afraid something would happen to you, since you're not used to being under the snow....  
Besides, there's a place of the heart near here...:perhaps one day I'll tell you about it.   
Now come."

They stop in front of the usual bench:   
"look up."

A sight was waiting for him:   
The sky completely covered with stars. It seemed unreal from how beautiful it was.  
And the snow. It looked like it had turned blue.

"See? Sometimes I look at these images, imprint them in my mind and then try to bring them to life on canvas.... It doesn't always happen to be able to observe all that.   
It seemed like another good reason to make you love Christmas."

"It's amazing. You are ....Thank you, really."

"You're welcome."  
"Sander, have you decided? Are you leaving for the Christmas holidays?"

Sander looks up:   
"no, I'm staying here: or rather I'm leaving in a few hours and should be back tomorrow. I can't leave her alone..."

And he pauses 

"Your girlfriend?"

"No, I don't have a girlfriend. Come. I'll show you something else. It's a special and terrible place at the same time."

"You don't have to..."

"No, I want to... I think I need to."

A little further on covered by snow a silent private cemetery. The two boys enter. Sander cleans up the snow that has settled over a headstone that looks white 

The full moon illuminates it manifesting all its horrific and sad power.   
"Here rests my twin sister. She... She passed away two years ago. Incurable illness and very fast. I stopped smiling for months then I realized through therapy that I needed to live again. For me and to make her memory joyful I....  
I'll be with her at Christmas."

Robbe reaches down, strokes the headstone and begins to speak:  
"Sofia, I am happy to know that you are Sander's sister: I think that if your brother is so good who knows how good you were... to you it doesn't seem so but you were lucky to be there for each other.  
Try to keep alive the happiness of being a part of each other, even if in different worlds."

"Robbe... “  
Sander hugged him and blurted out: he had finally found someone who didn't blame him, finally someone who understood what words he needed to hear.   
He was certain that Robbe was a gift from his sister, it couldn't be any other way,

"Are you feeling better?"  
Robbe asked after a while 

"Yes...now I have to go get my hooks ready to go."

"Keep in touch, ok? Have a good trip."

Robbe stays home that day and tries to make it even more Christmassy. Some ideas were running through his head...he just had to figure them out and put them in the right chronology.

The phone rings.  
"Robbe I'm here. But I wish I had never left."

Robbe answers him without a second thought:

"Would you like to explain what's going on?"

"Can I call you?"

"Sure."

When the phone rings Robbe immediately takes the call:  
"Hi what's up?"  
"I've been here for three hours and they still haven't stopped screaming. They don't even seem to be trying to make an effort to be with me...I would like to go home but they would take it even worse and I really don't know what to do..."

Robbe didn't know what to do or say. He didn't really know the situation but he knew that that family was still fighting each in their own way against a devastating pain. 

"Do you want me to join you?"

"Would you really come here?"

"Sure, we're friends right?"

Thanks but never mind, I have to take care of it.  
Talk to you soon."

Several hours had passed.   
The day and night had flown by... Christmas was getting shorter and shorter.   
Robbe had got used to feeling Sander's presence, and this absence somehow disturbed him.  
This absence worried him a little.

But he had to know how to wait:  
Sander was fighting a difficult family battle.   
He just hoped that everyone could come out on top somehow.

Evening came again, and Robbe looked out of the window at the sunset falling over a landscape with still a lot of snow almost everywhere.  
He couldn't wait any longer, he needed to feel his presence somehow.  
He returns to the small cemetery. He sits in the snow. And looking at Sofia's tombstone, he starts talking.  
"Sofia...what a void you must have left....  
Sander is really a special guy.  
I don't need to tell you, you already know everything, don't you?  
Yeah...I'd like to know too."

"What are you doing here?"

Sander was standing there.

"I called you but  
You didn't answer so...before I came to you I stopped by Sofia's...but..."  
Robbe stands up   
"I'm sorry, I... I have to go... I'll talk to you okay?"

"Robbe..."

Sander wants to stop him but he doesn't know why he can't.

"Sofia... “  
he manages to say before kneeling down and remaining silent

Robbe enters in his house, and runs under the shower.  
He didn't want to think. It was  
gone over, going to Sofia's but why?  
That was a private place....   
a moment Sofia would always dedicate only to Sander....  
He had been an idiot.

When he came out of the bathroom he found a note under the door:

"I came in thanks to a very nice lady, I'm outside your door and I can hear the water running.   
Open. Please."

Robbe and his heart stop.  
What could he have done? He couldn't just leave him there.   
Slowly he walks over to the door handle and leans his forehead against the peephole.

"Are you still there?"  
He says with a hint of a voice

"Yes, I'm here."

Robbe opens.   
Sander stands at his door, his face tired.  
"Can I stay here tonight? I don't ... I don't want to be alone."

"Come in..."  
At those words Sander rushes inside and into Robbe's arms.   
He doesn't cry, but it's as if he's out of energy. Completely drained.  
Robbe stays like that, nesting him on the floor for what seemed like hours, trying to figure out what was the right thing to do  
to get his smile back.  
There would be time to talk. 

"Sander... would you like some coffee?"  
He doesn't answer, but nods   
Robbe walks him over to the couch and he makes coffee in the meantime. 

He sits next to him as they had always done in the past few days, this time in silence, but for Robbe it was already fine, having him next to him was already a lot.

"Everything is heavy today. Everything."  
Sander starts to say something.  
Robbe tries to lighten the moment

"You want to know why I was at your sister's?  
Because I missed you and I didn't know if it was right to contact you. I felt you weren't well but...we've been friends for so short I didn't know...I didn't want to be intrusive. I went to her to  
feel you closer and ask her what to do."

Sander look at Robbe:

"I miss her all the time. She was more special than I was...it was only right that she..."

"No. Don't do that to yourself. This shouldn't have happened to anyone. Not to you, not to her. But these things can't be calculated or predicted, much less fixed. I don't think I'm able to ease the burden of this pain, but I can tell you that love doesn't die. Never."

Sander rests his head on Robbe's shoulder:

"Can I sleep on the couch tonight?"

Sander speaks as a few tears roll down his face.

"Come on, let's get your bed ready."

As he falls asleep, Robbe thinks about how much sweetness, serenity, and gentleness Sander had brought into his life in such a short time.   
In spite of the pain and complicated moments of that evening, he could only thank heaven that he had met Sander who was now sleeping on his couch: and now he knew that heaven also had the sweetest name: Sofia.


	4. Merry Xmas

The next morning Robbe got up and first looked at the calendar: there was only one day left until Christmas.  
He usually spent that time with sadness in his heart, trying to remember the last time Christmas had brought him joy: this year, however, thanks to Sander, time had flown by and there was no time to feel sorry for himself.  
Besides, he had finally realized that it wasn't the traditional Christmas he wanted or needed.

When he walked into the living room Sander wasn't there: the sofa bed was neatly laid out, and he had left a note on it:  
"Hi Robbe, I went home. I wanted to wake you up with a kiss, tell you that you're the best Christmas present I've ever had but... I didn't have the guts to do it.   
So I ran away. Because there's no other way to say it.  
I'm so sorry, But if I look into your eyes again, I won't be able to hide how I feel.   
Have a good eve.   
Sander."

Robbe slumps down on the couch; he needed time to figure out how to put everything he was feeling in order:  
When he comes to, he grabs his jacket and goes out: he looks for Sander at the old bus stop, at the bench, goes to Sofia and promises her that everything would be okay.

Then he picks up the phone. The moment of courage had arrived:  
"Sander where are you?"  
"Robbe... I... I'm at home."  
"Guide me."

Sander guides Robbe over the phone to his apartment: when he opens the door he finds Robbe with a tense face.   
Robbe enters, looking around: in a second all his plans are clear in his mind

"Let's get the lights, the tree is too big, but we can get one, we still have time.  
If you have a suitcase or backpacks go get them: we need to put Christmas decorations in them and your clothes too."  
Sander doesn't speak but looks at Robbe questioningly.

"Come spend Christmas with me, you don't want to spend it alone after all you've done to make me like it do you? And then..."

"And then what?"  
By now Sander didn't know what to think. But he could see that Robbe was rather annoyed.  
"Don't do that again."  
"Do what?"  
"Leave me alone."

Had he understood correctly? Did Robbe really resent leaving his home and not how he felt about him?   
"Robbe...I..."

Robbe turned and faced those wonderful eyes.  
"You had to. You had to come and wake me up with a kiss. Not run away. Because if you hadn't run away and didn't have the courage to kiss me, I would have.  
Now come here."

Robbe takes him by the shirt and pulls him close to him and kisses him: one, two three times.  
Kisses were first fast then slower and deeper: the merging of two souls who already knew they belonged to each other.

"This is my Christmas Sander: you and me. The little lights and presents and decorations are a lively side dish. But the bottom line is that this year the magic of Christmas for me is you."

Sander snuggles up to Robbe.   
Then he pulls away and grabs his briefcase:   
"I have everything I need, now we can go celebrate Christmas."  
And holding each other hands, they head home. 

"We need to pick up groceries - I've put together a menu for lunch tomorrow. Can you cook?"

Sander laughs and shakes Robbe's hand:  
"I can cook, and we'll make Christmas lunch together."

They arrive at Robbe's loaded with bags and backpacks and happiness.   
They get everything set up and start preparing a few things for lunch the next day:  
Robbe starts playing with the flour  
"You have something on your nose."  
And just like that, Sander's nose is completely covered in flour.  
A fight begins that ends with Robbe with his back pinned to the table and Sander not stopping kissing him.

They get ready for a dinner of quick croque to eat on the couch, watching a classic Christmas movie and drinking hot chocolate.

"Robbe...so I managed to make you like Christmas a little bit?"

Robbe throws himself into Sander's arms and rubbing his nose against his boyfriend's replies:  
"Not only you gave me Christmas back, you gave me magic."

It doesn't matter in what Universe we meet them in: at the end of every story Robbe and Sander will always end up meeting, falling in love, and choosing each other forever. 

Merry Christmas.  
Love and warm hugs for everyone ♥️


End file.
